Baptism Of Love

"I remember every detail as if it happened yesterday. It was in the year 2000 when I went to a small gathering in Florida. Jack Taylor, my spiritual father, was there, as well as Dennis Jernigan, a world-renowned worship leader. Somebody prayed for me saying, “I ask you, Holy Spirit, to come and take away anything in Leif’s life that is not comfortable with love.” Then Dennis Jernigan began to sing a song, Daddy’s Song, a love song about the love of Father God. Father’s love connected with me through that song. The next thing I remember was being down on the floor. I was lying there like a child, and I was weeping. I could feel Father’s love flowing over me. It was like liquid love going up and down my body, and in and out." (by Leif Hetland in his book, Baptism Of Love)

“But as I turned and was about to take a seat by the fire, I received a mighty baptism of the Holy Ghost. Without any expectation of it, without ever having the thought in my mind that there was any such thing for me, without my recollection that I had ever heard the thing mentioned by any person in the world, the Holy Ghost descended on me in a manner that seemed to go through me, body and soul. I could feel the impression, like a wave of electricity, going through and through me. Indeed it seemed to come in waves and waves of liquid love; for I could not express it in any other way. It seemed like the very breath of God. I can recollect distinctly that it seemed to fan me, like immense wings.

No words can express the wonderful love that was shed abroad in my heart. I wept aloud with joy and love; and I do not know but I should say, I literally bellowed out the unutterable gushings of my heart. The waves came over me, and over me, one after the other, until I recollect I cried out, “I shall die if these waves continue to pass over me.” I said, “Lord, I cannot bear any more”; yet I had no fear of death.

How long I continued in this state, with this baptism continuing to roll over me and go through me, I do not know. But I know it was late in the evening when a member of my choir–for I was the leader of the choir–came into the office to see me in this state of loud weeping, and said to me, “Mr. Finney, what ails you?” I could make him no answer for some time. He then said, “Are you in pain?” I gathered myself up as best I could, and replied, “No, but so happy that I cannot live.”"  (Charles G. Finny narration of his baptismal of the Holy Spirit). 

I would now share with you my own experience. At a time in my walk with God, the Holy Spirit started giving me an intense urge to know God's love. I had to drop every other thing and focus on getting a revelation of God's love. I started reaching out for any Christian resources on God's love. I consumed every one of them like a wild beast for two months. But after doing all this reading and studying, I still could feel that urge inside of me. The Spirit is still not satisfied. Paul talked about knowing God's love beyond knowledge. I felt that is what the Spirit wants for me, that I should know God's love beyond mere knowledge.

I have to become awaken to the love of God in me, to be alive to this living thing inside my heart, for God's love is alive. Then I began to press and press, desiring to become more and more conscious of the love of God that the Holy Spirit was sent to shed abroad in my heart (Rom 5:5). One night I was so awaken to God's love that I could hardly sleep. I would sleep a little while then awake up laughing and laughing, saying in my heart, "wow, God loves me, I can't believe it, He is so in love with me". Then I would sleep again and wake up just a little while later, just laughing and so excited about God's love. I was becoming more and more conscious of this overwhelming thing inside of me.

This continued, and then one night I was praying, talking with God and then it came like a very strong wind, blew straight into my heart, and flood it with love. Wow, it was so strong, and then another wave came, and then another wave, wave after wave it kept coming. So ravishing with an overwhelming sweetness. I fell over from the chair I was sitting, and I was rolling on the ground, begging God to stop. "Please stop it Lord, it's just too much, I don't think I can bear it", I don't know if to cry or to laugh, I was probably doing both, "you are going to kill me if you don't stop, this love is just too much, it will kill me".

But the Lord would not stop, I continued there for what seems like eternity. And that was not the last time I experienced this, in fact it was just the beginning.

I began experiencing this wind of waves and waves of love more frequently. But I only experience it when I pray or worship. Then one day, I was in a library, just minding my business and reading my books. Suddenly I felt the wind blowing again, it came straight into my heart, flooding it with love. I immediately began to beg the Holy Spirit, "please not now, can't you see I am reading, just let me be for now, maybe later we can have this". But no, He would not stop, waves after waves it came. I was struggling to contain myself, I was in the library and I didn't want to disturb the peace. I just sat there with tears running down my eyes, totally undo, completely ravished with God's love.

I don't believe it is necessary you seek this experience, I am only sharing this to inspire you, and let you know the possibility of how intensely you can experience God's love. You can grow more and more conscious of His love, and you can become alive to it.